Krappy Kontestants

CartoonGuy: Nig-HEY! You were supposed to tell me you were recording! You're getting fired later. ANYWAYS, yo! Welcome to Camp Wumbo! A show that takes place in an island known as: Camp Wumbo! In this show, 22 contestants will be competing into two teams of 11, and only one will end up winning 500.000 DOLLARS! There will be pain, pain, and even, you guessed it, chocolate milk. Will the contestants immediately die once they come here? Will I kill them? Will I fire my cameraman? Find out on the first episode of......Caaaaaaaaamp Wumbooooooooooo!

[Epic theme song plays]

CartoonGuy: Yo. Here comes the first contestant!

[A boat comes to the island, and WoofWoofGam3r gets out of it]

CartoonGuy: Good luck, Woof! You're gonna need it, considering you've been the first boot in two of these sho-

WoofWoofGam3r: THAT WAS RUGGIE!

CartoonGuy: Sure it was.

WoofWoofGam3r: I'm gonna win this! You'll see! [walks offscreen]

[Another boat arrives, and SpongeTron D gets out of it]

SpongeTron D: Hello!

CartoonGuy: Future dude, welcome! Show me some of your cool future stuff!

SpongeTron D: [uses the hat brick ability, making a brick fall on CartoonGuy]

CartoonGuy: OUCH!

SpongeTron D: That's one of them! Want to see the laser hammer?

CartoonGuy: I'd rather not.

SpongeTron D: Okie! Oh and, hi clones! I know you're watching this! [he walks offscreen, as GuyBesideYou3 gets out of the next boat]

CartoonGuy: Hello, GuyBesideCartoonGuy3!

GuyBesideYou3: Oh, I don't think you should call me nicknames.

CartoonGuy: Why's that, WhyBesideYou3?

GuyBesideYou3: After being called so many nicknames, I decided to get a lawyer. If you call me nicknames, I could easily sue you for torturing contestants, which you will probably do. However, if you don't call me nicknames, no lawsuit for you.

CartoonGuy: Are.......are you blackmailing me?

GuyBesideYou3: Yes. Yes I am.

CartoonGuy: Fine. I won't call you any nicknames.

GuyBesideYou3: Good. [walks offscreen]

CartoonGuy: LawBesideYou3.

GuyBesideYou3 (offscreen): What was that?

CartoonGuy: Nothing!

[Luigi gets out of his boat]

CartoonGuy: Hey......you look like two people I know from back in Italy.......Mario and Luigi, they're kind of famous. Wait a minute, you are Luigi! But you look kind of different.....

Luigi: I am Spanish, not Italian.

CartoonGuy: I despise Spain.

Luigi: What?

CartoonGuy: I am letting the audience think I am racist so they will see these episodes hoping I say racist stuff so they can laugh at it only to have watched all the episodes and realize it was all a trick! Wait.......[looks at the camera]........dang it.

Luigi: Ok.........I'm just gonna go over there.........[walks offscreen]

CartoonGuy: Maybe I should introduce myself better.

[Louis219 gets out of his boat with a tape in his hand]

CartoonGuy: What's that tape?

Louis219: The Krusty Krab Training Video!

CartoonGuy: And you want to watch it here?

Louis219: Yes.

CartoonGuy: On what, a TV?

Louis219: Yes.

CartoonGuy: You do know you guys won't have access to television, right?

Louis219: WHAT?! NOOOOOOOO! [falls to the ground]

[The next boat arrives, and Unnamed Rat jumps out of it and lands on Louis219]

Louis219: A RAT?! GET IT OFF ME!

Cmcgrath26: [is seen in the boat] UNNAMED! [jumps out of the boat and lands on Louis219]

Louis219: AAAAAARGH!

Cmcgrath26: [picks up Unnamed Rat] Don't run off like that!

Louis219: EHEM!

Cmcgrath26: Oops. [gets off Louis219, and helps him get up] Sorry about that.

Louis219: My back........[walks offscreen]

Cmcgrath26: What will he do with that tape?

CartoonGuy: I don't know. But what I do know, is that you can't bring your rat here with you.

Cmcgrath26: WHAT?! WHY?!

CartoonGuy: Rats can start pandemics, and I really don't want to be responsible for ANOTHER pandemic. So, Unnamed, bye bye! [picks Unnamed Rat up and throws her in the boat]

Cmcgrath26: NOOO! UNNAMED! BYEEEEE!

[The boat goes away]

Cmcgrath26: [starts sobbing on the floor, and then runs away offscreen]

CartoonGuy: Weirdo.

[9/17 comes out of the next boat]

9/17: opesity

CartoonGuy: What?

9/17: DANG IT! I WAS GONNA SAY "obesity"! It's not even the first time I introduce myself by accidentally saying "opesity" instead of "obesity"!

CartoonGuy: When was the first time?

9/17: The day of my birth.

CartoonGuy: Epic. You may go with the other contestants, 9/obesiteen.

9/17: Not funny. Didn't laugh. [walks offscreen]

CartoonGuy: Idiot.

[Dededeletethis jumps out of his boat]

Dededeletethis: [is still in the air] No longer a sidekick, no that's not me! Picture my booty up in 3-[falls on the island on his booty] AAAAAAUGH! MY BOOTY!

CartoonGuy: oof. I was really enjoying the song. You may join the other contestants.

Dededeletethis: I hope someone can heal my booty......[walks offscreen]

[FireMatch gets out of the next boat]

FireMatch: Yo wassup diggity dogs I just made a mess in the other room.

CartoonGuy: Epic.

FireMatch: Yes. [looks around] Hey, is that a green fish? I think I've seen him befo-

CartoonGuy: [pushes him offscreen] OOPS! MY HANDS SLIPPED!

[MagicSponge123 gets out of the next boat by flying into the island]

CartoonGuy: WOAH! How did you do that?

MagicSponge123: [gets a magic stick from his pocket] I shall win this competition thanks to this stick!

CartoonGuy: Sure you will. [takes his magic stick]

MagicSponge123: HEY! Give it back!

CartoonGuy: No.

MagicSponge123: Please?

CartoonGuy: I'm not letting you have an unfair advantage.

MagicSponge123: Then I guess I'll quit!

CartoonGuy: Well your boat just came back so if you quit I'm gonna make you cook for me! And if you cook something I don't like, you will be an INTERN!

MagicSponge123: Nevermind, I'm good. [walks offscreen]

[YOIMKYLE gets out of the next boat]

YOIMKYLE: I don't exist.

CartoonGuy: What?

YOIMKYLE: [vanishes]

CartoonGuy: HOLY SHRIMP! Wait, THE MAGIC STICK! [he gets the magic stick from his pocket and makes YOIMKYLE come back] Don't you dare disappear again!

YOIMKYLE: Fine. [walks offscreen]

CartoonGuy: [throws the magic stick] I'm sure the intern got it and put it into the confiscated objects box.

[Doctor Patrick gets out of the next boat]

Doctor Patrick: DON'T TOUCH ME, I'M BLUE PLATE!

CartoonGuy: Yeah, comedy aside, are you a real doctor? Is that suitcase full of REAL doctor tools?

Doctor Patrick: Of course! How dare you imply I don't have a real medical degree! Why, the last person who said that........well she carried on with her life. I couldn't fight her, I'm blue plate.

CartoonGuy: Okay Doc, let's make a deal: when a contestant gets hurt, you will be in charge of healing him.

Doctor Patrick: You don't have doctors?

CartoonGuy: Well, not real ones.....

Doctor Patrick: Erm, deal, I guess.

CartoonGuy: Good. Maybe we'll go the whole season without getting sued.

Doctor Patrick: Is this competition safe?

CartoonGuy: No comment. [pushes Doctor Patrick offscreen]

[ItzSpongeBob 1999 gets out of the next boat]

CartoonGuy: Hey! It's ItzSpongeBob 1999!

[Everyone is silent for 5 seconds]

CartoonGuy: Are you kidding me?

ItzSpongeBob 1999: What?

CartoonGuy: You were supposed to laugh!

ItzSpongeBob 1999: Oh, erm, hahahahahahaha.

CartoonGuy: FAKE LAUGHING?! Are you and I gonna have a problem?

ItzSpongeBob 1999: I'm sorry, I-I just-

CartoonGuy: No, don't you make excuses. It's too late now. Just.......go away.

ItzSpongeBob 1999: Whatever you say. [walks offscreen]

CartoonGuy: I am hilarious.

[Vemsa gets out of the next boat]

Vemsa: I have a bad feeling about this.

CartoonGuy: Then why did you come here?

Vemsa: For the money, duh. Why else would someone sign up for this?

CartoonGuy: To see me! The best host that has the most ghost toast in the history of hosts with the most ghost toast. Also my blog post was written in the most mostly perfect way ever which made users join the show hosted by the host with the most ghost toast who also roasts people that live by the coast.

Vemsa: Are you a rapper?

CartoonGuy: I'd be a pretty good one.

Vemsa: Meh.

CartoonGuy: [pushes Vemsa offscreen] Yes.

[0fflinejoe gets out of the next boat]

CartoonGuy: Hello, 0fflinejoe. Anything to say?

0fflinejoe: babe unbabe my poop is big shut up fat Hooky god

CartoonGuy: Aaaaaand 0fflinejoe has just told us his entire vocabulary.

0fflinejoe: unbabe

CartoonGuy: Hey, no need to get political.

0fflinejoe: shut up [walks offscreen]

CartoonGuy: My poop is bigger than his.

[XxGustavXx gets out of the next boat]

CartoonGuy: Yo.

XxGustavXx: Yo. Soooo..........we're staying here?

CartoonGuy: No, this is just an island where everyone came-OF COURSE WE'RE STAYING HERE!

XxGustavXx: This place does not look very good.....

CartoonGuy: Just like you.

XxGustavXx: Hey!

CartoonGuy: Just go complain about this place with the other contestants, they will greet you with open arms.

XxGustavXx: Ok then. [walks offscreen]

[Jamie gets out of the next boat]

Jamie: Hope you like cringe!

CartoonGuy: I do not like cringe.

Jamie: Oh..........well, I made a Smashed potatoes that look like Squidward cut-out. [gets it from his pocket]

CartoonGuy: That is actually pretty good. Show it to the other contestants, I'm sure they will love it, ESPECIALLY Vemsa.

Jamie: Okay then! [walks offscreen]

[SpongeFan199 gets out of the next boat]

SpongeFan199: Hi CartoonGuy.

CartoonGuy: Who are you?

SpongeFan199: Bruh, you know me! I'm SpongeFan199!

CartoonGuy: .........Oh yeah! I remember you signing up for this show!

SpongeFan199: No, I meant you actually know me! Like, we've talked before I signed up! You know me!

CartoonGuy: I do not think so, erm........what was your name again?

SpongeFan199: SpongeFan199!

CartoonGuy: SpongeFan199...........oh yeah! I know you!

SpongeFan199: See?

CartoonGuy: I don't know how I forgot your name, erm..........wait, what's your name again?

SpongeFan199: UGH! SpongeFan199! [walks offscreen]

[Squiddypop gets out of the next boat]

Squiddypop: I JOIN THIS?

CartoonGuy: You already did.

Squiddypop: Well, yeah, buuuut........Shrek. Also my favourite episode is Squid's Visit.

CartoonGuy: I despise you.

Squiddypop: What?

CartoonGuy: I despise you.

Squiddypop: Oh, ok. [walks offscreen]

[Premoviebestseasonsever gets out of the next boat]

Premoviebestseasonsever: KKTV is the best episode.

CartoonGuy: I think you will get along with Louis, long name.

Premoviebestseasonsever: Did you just call me long name?

CartoonGuy: Erm, yes? Do you expect me to call you Premoviebestseasonsever everytime I talk to you?

Premoviebestseasonsever: Just use a nickname! Most people call me Premovie.

CartoonGuy: Long name it is!

Premoviebestseasonsever: Bruh. [walks offscreen]

[Mavnol333 gets out of the next boat]

Mavnol333: Buongiorno, CartoonGuy. I look forward to seeing you try to be a better host than me.

CartoonGuy: That won't be very hard.

Mavnol333: Wanna bet?

CartoonGuy: No.

Mavnol333: ..........Didn't expect that. Well, just remember, I'm the best host. [walks offscreen]

CartoonGuy: And the last contestant is coming!

[IWasFormerlySpongeBoy gets out of the last boat]

CartoonGuy: You are the last contestant to arrive here! But you might not end up being the last one left........alive.

IWasFormerlySpongeBoy: Wait, what?

CartoonGuy: I said you're probably gonna die.

IWasFormerlySpongeBoy: Oh, ok-WHAT?!

CartoonGuy: Just go with the others. [pushes him offscreen] The 22 contestants have arrived! What will happen next in the first episode? Find out after this ad, on Caaaaaaaaaamp Wumboooooooooooooo!

[AD MUSIC]

Patchy: Oh, hi there! CartoonGuy promised to pay me to make an advertisement for his show, so here I am! Have you ever noticed how white my teeth are? You'd expect a pirate to have dirtier teeth!

Potty: You're not even a real pirate! All you do is review SpongeBob episodes on that stupid website!

Patchy: ESB is not a stupid website! It's a very respected community! Anyways, 9 out of 10 dentists recommend the toothpaste I use: the good ol' Camp Wumbo toothpaste! Which is totally the toothpaste I use, and totally approved by 9 out of 10 dentists! Anyways, you can buy it for 69 cents! That is all. Do I get paid now or what?

[COMMERCIAL ENDS]

[CartoonGuy and all of the contestants are standing in the middle of a forest]

CartoonGuy: Okay, so, basically, now I'm going to split all 22 of you into two teams of 11. The teams are the Smashed Potatoes and the Plate Guys. The following contestants are part of the Smashed Potatoes:

Vemsa: Please not me, please not me.

CartoonGuy: WoofWoofGam3r, GuyBesideYou3, Louis219, 9/17, FireMatch, YOIMKYLE, ItzSpongeBob 1999, 0fflinejoe, Jamie, Squiddypop, and Mavnol333.

Vemsa: YES! I despise those Smashed Potatoes.

CartoonGuy: And I despise you......except I am in love with you. ANYWAYS, the following contestants are part of the Plate Guys: SpongeTron D, Luigi, Cmcgrath26, Dededeletethis, MagicSponge123, Doctor Patrick, Vemsa, XxGustavXx, SpongeFan199, Premoviebestseasonsever, and IWasFormerlySpongeBoy. Now, both teams will be going into their respective cabins.

SpongeFan199: YES! You remembered my name!

CartoonGuy: I had it written on a list. Anyways, who are you?

[Cuts to the Smashed Potatoes going into their cabin]

0fflinejoe: I'm getting the babe bed!

Mavnol333: Not if I get it first!

WoofWoofGam3r: Good luck! You're gonna need it......

FireMatch: All of the beds are identical!

Jamie: I'm gonna put this Smashed potatoes that look like Squidward cut-out outside of the cabin! So everyone will know, we are the legendary Smashed Potatoes!

0fflinejoe: My poop is big.

WoofWoofGam3r: Let's test that!

9/17: Let's not.

GuyBesideYou3: What he said.

Mavnol333: Looks like we're teammates, GuyBesideMavnol3333.

GuyBesideYou3: I could sue you if you keep calling me nicknames.

Mavnol333: Wait, what?

[Cuts to the Plate Guys going into their cabin]

Cmcgrath26: [Starts smelling the beds] AHA! This one smells like Unnamed! THIS ONE'S MINE!

MagicSponge123: There's no way we'll win challenges without my magic stick! We're screwed!

Luigi: Believe in us, Magic! I have awesome jumping abilities! Just look! [he jumps, breaking the cabin's roof and ending up in the sky]

MagicSponge123: With my magic stick, I could have brought him back down in a second!

Premoviebestseasonsever: Is he gonna stay there forever?

SpongeTron D: Oh no, don't worry. ROCKET FLIGHT! [his feet turn into rocket boosters, and he flies to the sky]

Doctor Patrick: I think I'm not blue plate anymore!

Dededeletethis: Good! Can you heal my booty?

Doctor Patrick: Uh, sure. But first, I need to get my 3D glasses.

CartoonGuy (intercom): ATTENTION CONTESTANTS!

[SpongeTron D falls into the Plate Guys cabin holding Luigi]

SpongeTron D: Ouch. CartoonGuy, couldn't you wait for me to come back here? You scared me and made me fall.

CartoonGuy (intercom): No. All 22 of you come outside now! It's lunch time!

[Cuts to everyone standing outside, next to a wooden house with a sing saying "THE CHUM PLACE"]

CartoonGuy: The Chum Place! An original name! There are two tables for each team, and the food is already served! That is, if you consider chum food. When you go to The Chum Place, the first thing you'll see is your cook, and co-host! Everyone, give a warm welcome to.....[he opens the door, and Old Man Jenkins is standing there] OLD MAN JENKINS!

The contestants: *gasp*

CartoonGuy: We made a deal with Sandy, and thanks to her science we were able to make Old Man Jenkins breathe out of water! Although of course he is immortal, but we didn't want him to die every minute.

Old Man Jenkins: You young people can't even come back from the dead after dying! Back in my day, dead people in the street were no big deal, and they just woke up again! But you darn kids with your tomfoolery can't even RESPECT YOUR ELDERS! Back in my day-

CartoonGuy: Okay, that's enough. I-

Old Man Jenkins: RESPECT YOUR ELDERS!

CartoonGuy: *sigh* Go eat, contestants.

[The Smashed Potatoes and the Plate Guys sit at their respective tables]

[Cuts to the Smashed Potatoes table]

9/17: I am not eating this.

Louis219: Eh, I've eaten worse. Like someone's KIDNEY!

9/17: That was so long ago, get over it!

FireMatch: I actually think I saw Old Man Jenkins when I first stepped on this island. However, CartoonGuy pushed me away before I realized it was him.

Squiddypop: CartoonGuy is such a stupid jerk! I mean, imagine thinking Squid's Visit is the worst episode of the show, am I right?

ItzSpongeBob 1999: 0fflinejoe, why are you making your chum bigger?

0fflinejoe: So it looks like my poop.

IWasFormerlySpongeBoy: EEEW! I'm definitely not eating now.

0fflinejoe: shut up

WoofWoofGam3r: This guy's hilarious.

GuyBesideYou3: Sure he is.

WoofWoofGam3r: Finally someone that agrees with me!

GuyBesideYou3: I was being sarcastic.

WoofWoofGam3r: Oh.

Mavnol333: SarcasmBesideYou3.

GuyBesideYou3: Do you want to get sued?

Mavnol333: *sigh* No, I don't.

YOIMKYLE: I am going to pretend this food is like me: non-existent.

9/17: Jamie, what are you doing?

Jamie: I'm making a CartoonGuy dying cut-out.

Louis219: Now THAT should be the cut-out outside our cabin.

CartoonGuy: I heard that!

[Cuts to the Plate Guys table]

SpongeTron D: I am an excellent cook, but even I can't figure out a way to make chum better!

Cmcgrath26: I have an idea! I will just pretend the chum is the seeds I ate with Unnamed! [he puts a bit of chum in his mouth with his eyes closed, and immediately spits it out in Vemsa's face]

Vemsa: The sad thing is, this isn't the first time someone spat chum in my face.

Luigi: When was the first time?

Vemsa: The first time I tried to kill the real Vemsa.

Luigi: WHAT?!

Vemsa: Don't worry, he's dead now.

Luigi: WHAT?!

Vemsa: His body is in my basement.

Luigi: WHAT?!

SpongeFan199: If CartoonGuy keeps forgetting who I am, I'm gonna lose it!

MagicSponge123: I'm already losing it, because CartoonGuy took my darn magic stick!

Premoviebestseasonsever: He calls me long name!

XxGustavXx: Well you do have a long name, Premovie.

Premoviebestseasonsever: But that's the thing! He could just call me Premovie like everyone else but he prefers to call me long name! It annoys me!

IWasFormerlySpongeBoy: That makes me wonder: do I have a longer name than you or do you have a longer name?

Premoviebestseasonsever: Good que-

SpongeTron D (in a robotic voice): IWasFormerlySpongeBoy consists of 21 letters while Premoviebestseasonsever consists of 23 letters. Therefore, Premoviebestseasonsever is the longer name.

[Everyone is silent for 5 seconds]

SpongeTron D: Oh, that's just a thing I do sometimes.

Doctor Patrick: Welp, [takes out a hammer] time to beat my meat!

XxGustavXx: What?

Doctor Patrick: I will use this hammer to beat my portion of chum so there is less of it resulting in me consuming less of that monstrosity.

XxGustavXx: Oh, ok.

Dededeletethis: DOC! Can you use that hammer to heal my booty?

Doctor Patrick: Well, actually, I think I can! [hits Dededeletethis' booty with the hammer]

Dededeletethis: AAAAAUGH!

Doctor Patrick: Healed!

Dededeletethis: Oh, sweet! [starts shaking his booty]

Vemsa: We want to eat, we don't care about your booty.

CartoonGuy: Okay everyone! Have you all finished eating? I don't care! Come outside with me!

[Everyone exits the restaurant, and they stop at an outhouse]

CartoonGuy: This outhouse is the bathroom, AND the confessional! You will go there to, well, confess. Which is why, before starting the first challenge, I am inviting you all to confess!

Doctor Patrick (confessional): I must say, the main reason I became a doctor was so I could use fancy words.

Mavnol333 (confessional): Not giving GuyBesideYou3 nicknames is so hard! I AM AN ADDICT! I NEED HELP!

0fflinejoe (confessional): I just pooped here. It was a big poop.

Dededeletethis (confessional): [he's shaking his booty on the camera]

SpongeTron D (confessional): Hey clones! I know you're watching, and I'm gonna win this thing for you! All 486!

9/17 (confessional): I've learned being a salty jerk isn't a very good strategy, so I think I will be in an alliance this time! The question is: with who?

SpongeFan199 (confessional): I have got to find a way to make CartoonGuy remember me! It's driving me crazy!

CartoonGuy (intercom): Who are you again?

Premoviebestseasonsever (confessional): My name might be long, but you know what else is long? My dictionary! When I was four, I was so bored I made an entire dictionary with thousands of non-existent words! I still keep it in my room as a reminder of my past insanity. Which will come back if CartoonGuy keeps calling me long name!

Vemsa (confessional): So far, this sucks more than the real Vemsa.

Cmcgrath26 (confessional): Unnamed, I'm gonna win this for YOU!

YOIMKYLE (confessional): I do not exist.

CartoonGuy: Okay, that's enough! Time to start the first challenge, and to end the first episode! Will I call Premoviebestseasonsever Premovie? Will I remember that guy? You know, that one contestant. And will everyone brutally die already? Find out on the next episode, of Caaaaaaaaaamp Wumbooooooooooooo!